How to be a Woman...?

Caitlin Moran's 'How to be a Woman' ...

I was recommended this book by a man I know.

"What a great pick up line!" my friend tells me. Which, upon realising this I made the extra effort to make sure actually I read it.

How to be a Woman, is a great easy read. It is funny, insightful. I learned some interesting facts about feminism. Caitlin Moran has had a colourful life and so this book feels as much, if not more, like an autobiography than an instruction manual to womanhood. I felt that I could really identify with the growing pangs that she described; teenage sexualisation, strip clubs, sexism and crappy relationships... There was much of the book that was foreign to me, not in a bad way, in a new and novel way... By the time Ms Moran was my age she was married with 2 children, and had a miscarriage and an abortion under her belt, not to mention had established her career...

At 27, on the cusp of 28, it feels like don't have that much to show for my time here on earth except some amusing stories (and some rather blurry memories). I am still establishing my career, which at best I am 4 years off  reaching (at worst this could be as much as 7 or 9 years, but lets look on the bright side for now)...
I am unmarried.
I have no children.
I have never been pregnant.
I am still a student.
I am (currently and technically) an unskilled, worker.
I am not 'THERE' yet. (where ever ‘THERE’ may be).

All this said; do I feel that I can do a better job of being a woman now that I have read Moran's book? Put Simply: No.

Would I now describe myself as a feminist? No.

Although I do feel better educated in the history of feminism, Moran gives the definition of feminism as answering yes to the following questions
"1) do you have a vagina?" and
"2) do you want to be in charge of what happens to it?"

You see, I don’t think that having a vagina is a necessary condition of being feminist, nor is it sufficient. I personally know more male feminist than I do females ones. Gosh, some of the feMANists I know actually put me off the idea of feminism... They try so hard to show that they strive for equality for woman, there is an air of emasculation that, if I'm honest, makes me feel uncomfortable with the whole concept.

No, I shall continue to consider myself a post-feminist. I am glad that the 70's happened, that we have the vote and that we can aspire to be more than a housewife, mill worker or (at best) a secretary. Thank you to the sisterhood! But it is now 2012, no one will take my vote away, I can do and be whatever I set my equally-sized-although-predominately-right-dominated mind to... Come on sisters! Let’s start getting on with it! What I'm really talking about as a post-feminist is, taking the best bits of the suffragette movement and combining it with a hint of chivalry. I will not burn my bra - quite frankly my boobs look better in one! ... Sorry I digress. Caitlin Moran is not endorsing the burning of the bra. I just am not convinced of her brand of feminism....I still did really enjoy, and definitely would recommend the book.

No Man Will Every Love You, Like I Do

This man has an amazing voice.

Raghu Dixit - No Man Will Ever Love You, Like I do.

He has so much passion in his voice.

I met my boyfriend one year ago today and there is no way he loves me in the same was as this guy loves... I know this for a fact for a number of reasons:

1) If I ended up in a wheelchair tomorrow I don't think he would still want to be my boyfriend.

Even though I know he loves me. And that although he thinks I'm beautiful. And what he loves most about me is my intelligence... I still feel that there are conditions on our love. That I am not the be all and end all. Than I am not quite what he is after. I still get the impression that if I wasn't his girlfriend, someone else would do. But that I will do, (for now).

2) I have still not met his family.

Even though they live in a different country, the technology exists that an informal introduction could have been made by now. He tells me that they know all about me, but I still feel invisible in him life. We spent Christmas with my family, it was in fact the first time in my life I have had a boyfriend around for Christmas day. The reason I let him spend Christmas with my family is that I wanted to show him off... nuff said.

3) When he goes away on business he doesn't return my calls.

Now I'm not saying that I'm calling every 20mins and being a mental bitch down the phone, but usual patterns of behaviour are disrupted when he is away. For example I will call him (out-of-office-hours) and he will reject my call and turn his phone off. This he never usually does, if I call and its inconvenient then he will either answer or text to let me know when it is convenient.

4) In the last year, he has compromised once.

I am in part to blame for this. I haven't compromised much  more. Both he and I are so adamant in what we will and will not accept, I think often we managed to forget that there are two of us in this relationship. 9/10 times this is not a problem as we genuinely want the same thing, however it its the 1/10 times when we reach a loggerhead, lock horns and both refuse to budge.

5) He still feels that I will judge him for the mistakes of his past.

I know this for a fact as there is much of his back story that he still refuses to discuss with me. What he seems to have forgotten is that aside from my natural curiosity, my other default mechanise is to think and over think things. If one is inhibited then the other kicks in 10 fold. What I suspect is that he cheated on he ex-wife (although I think that was probably a consequence of their failing marriage not a cause of it) and then I suspect that he other long term girlfriend (and maybe the nameless woman in question) cheated on him. This is not entirely speculation, I have drawn upon various evidence that he has 'let slip'. What he doesn't realise is that in spite of this back story I love him just the same.

The Last Night

I have just finished my last ever night shift. I am fortunate in so far as, that on a night shift, everyone is asleep and I am charged with the job of keeping-an-eye-on-things until the morning staff arrive and the real work gets done.

I don't work many night shifts. The area of the NHS that I work in requires us to work only 3 night shifts a month. I see night shifts as a welcome novelty. 10 hours piece and quiet without anyone (colleagues or patients) breathing down my neck and generally getting on my nerves.

Things I will miss about night shifts.

1) Listening to LBC 97.3.
2) Drinking Lucozade.
3) Eating (NHS) Corn Flakes for breakfast.
4) Having time to think.
5) Being free to research the internet.
6) Sleeping all day.

Things I will not miss about night shifts.


1) Not being able to get Radio4 on the work computers. The iPlayer doesn't load.
2) Forgetting that I need to drink water and ending up dehydrated with painful kidneys.
3) Sleeping through lunch.
4) Having too much time to think.
5) Having the time (and the inclination) to Google people.

Would Someone Like To Pop My Cherry... Please!?

Would someone like to pop my cherry?

I've been blogging on and off for the past couple of months, with various degrees of interest and intensity. I do hope to become more regular once I've gotten into the swing of things....

People are looking at my posts - my stats are telling me so! I just wish someone would comment on something that I've said....

I hereby cordially invite you, dear reader, to take my blog virginity and be the first to say something on my page.

Let’s get the ball rolling. I feel like a mad woman talking to myself.

One Dance Just Won't Do

This is what I am listening today.

Audrey Hall - One Dance.

"I just wanted to see what he would do if I danced with another man,

I was flirting with you,

Just to see what he would do-oo"

I think every girl has done this in some form or another. Maybe talked a little bit longer than is polite to the hot boy at a party, laughed heartily at someones jokes or literally danced with another man just to see what there boyfriend would have to say....

Now this can, (and has) backfired on me before...

Possible scenarios include:

1) My boyfriend starts a fight with the man in question.

This has happened to me. It was very embarrassing for everyone involved.

2) My boyfriend plays me at my own game.

I have been so involved in trying to make my boyfriend jealous that I have failed to notice him making his moves on a hot young chick at he party.

3) My boyfriend makes an effort to have a dance with me.

This is always a positive outcome, no matter how badly he dances when he is drunk.

I'd be interested to hear any stories you have on  similar theme.

Social Experiment

Is it wrong, and I suspect it is, that sometimes, just for fun, I want to shout 'Goodbye cruel world!!' as the tube approaches the platform?

Now let me be clear, I HAVE NO DESIRE TO END MY OWN LIFE. Those feelings wore off with puberty, which coincidentally (or not) was also around the time a stopped binge drinking, quit smoking weed and said goodbye to psychedelic drugs...

What I am insanely curious about is how my fellow commuters would react... Call it a social experiment. 

Man of Simple Pleasures

This is what I am listening to today...

Man of Simple Pleasures - Kasabian 

Love it!

Unfortunately I won't be seeing them at the Reading Festival 2012 in August as my day tickets is for Sunday...

Bring on the Foo Fighters!!